Fuck. I still can't get over this shit that happened with my dad Sunday night.
Anyway, guess I need to re-rant.
So...
The school called about some Awards ceremony thing going on on Monday, and my dad told me and my mom and said "Maybe you'll get one this year" when it's blatantly obvious I wouldn't. I told him I was average and he LAUGHS and says "If you're average, how can you get into..." Insert school name there. A good college. Seriously. What kind of dad says that? And then he goes on about random shit like how I always watch t.v. and talk to people online and don't do my homework, WHICH I DO. How the hell would I have decent grades if I don't? He also claims I'll never get into UC Berkeley and that Santa Cruz is the best I'll get. Thinks he should have sent me to a "better" high school where I'd just fail even more because of my shitty educational background. He even complained about me wanting to buy a lot of shit when it's just FOOD I crave. I can't exactly drive out myself 'cause I don't have a license and I doubt either of them would want to accompany me anyway. So fuck.

There goes my self-esteem. Great job, dad. You win the award of worst fucker ever. I won't even THINK of this as "wanting the best" for me. Really? This goes BEYOND being an Asian parent and just being horrible. Kudos.

God, he keeps trying to talk to me. I told him I'm gonna ignore him until he apologizes. He'll never do it.
I swear, he tried talking to me on..Tuesday or Wednesday night before he went to sleep and afterward, I started fucking crying my ass off. I got so damn confused, angry, and frustrated that my mind got all cluttered and I nearly went insane. I nearly scratched my wrists with a needle until my boyfriend stopped me.

So really...do parents not know what they're doing to teenagers? Life's not as easy as it was 40 years ago. Even more. So shut the fuck up and let me handle my own life since apparently I've been doing it for a while and I've turned out a whole lot better than what I probably would have been if I was constantly pampered and smothered.

There's probably more to this that I'm missing, but I'll add it later.
Fuck.
I'm going to go insane sooner or later. I'll probably have issues with men later on in life. Great.
At least the drama from the beginning of the year died off. I felt like I was gonna go insane then too.
Dammit. I hate drama and I hate living here. Take me away now.
The look in my mom's eyes makes me wanna cry. I feel damn weak.